Solo Mama Sisterhood
Upstate single foster mamas, find each other and find encouragement and strength to keep going. Here’s their story from their different perspectives--
Hannah, Anderson foster mom--When I felt the Lord was leading me to foster, I initially thought I needed to wait until I was married. Not necessarily for licensing purposes, but to simply qualify as a good family placement for a child. This wasn't true, of course, and God made it very clear that I didn't need anyone else to qualify me for what He called me to, all I needed was Him.
Fostering multiple kids in general is challenging, but doing it as a single parent is on a whole other level! It truly takes a village and I couldn't do what I do without mine. It has also been amazing to have a group of single moms who foster and understand exactly what I'm going through. We share the good, the bad, and the ugly with no judgment and lots of compassion for each other.
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Jessica, Oconee foster mom--Being a single foster mom sometimes feels like juggling with one hand while executing a tightrope walk... and attempting to gently parent from 50 feet above starving lions.
Thankfully, I don't have to go it alone. Every day, I'm grateful for the unending support I receive from family, friends, my church, and Fostering Faithfully. It truly takes a village - and let me tell you, mine is dope.
I'm especially grateful for the single foster mama community group I've found with Krista, Amanda, & Hannah. The group text stays buzzing - we gush over the sweet, happy, lovely times and remind each other that the hard times won't last forever. In this amazing sisterhood, I've got a cheer squad, a sounding board for venting, and a support group all rolled into one. I feel incredibly blessed to be surrounded by these amazing women who truly understand the chaos, love, and caffeine dependency that reign in my home.
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Amanda, Pickens Foster Mom--Starting my fostering journey was a step of faith and it has been so cool to watch the Lord form the ground under my feet each step of the way. The unique ways He brought Hannah, Jessica and then Krista into my life individually was a blessing, but then He brought us all together with some salsa and chips during a Fostering Faithfully parent night out, and I was in awe of his faithfulness and design of community.
I have family and friends that fully support my foster journey but there are some things only another foster mama doing it on her own will understand. Sometimes my thoughts can be consumed by the lie that this would be so much easier with a spouse, but then I reflect on the fact that in this season I have 3 other mamas that will come running at a minute's notice providing both tangible and intangible support.
One outcome of our friendship is our foster children’s relationships with each other. We have a sibling group divided among us that gets to see each other regularly. Our older crew genuinely enjoy spending time together giving them a support system of sorts for their shared experiences.
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Krista, Anderson Foster Mom: Throughout Scripture, Heavenly Father refers to how important relationships are in our lives. From the book of Genesis, God sees that man should not be alone. In Proverbs 27:17, He again reminds us that “Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. And one of my favorites: Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” And I believe in those verses, wholeheartedly. I have LIVED those verses, alone and with friends by my side. I have been moved to tears when thinking about the blessings of those that have been that type of friend by my side. But those types of verses take on such a significant Heavenly perspective now that I have become a single foster parent. I believed that this was my purpose. I could see Heavenly Father working throughout my life, leading me and preparing me for this calling.
But I still wasn’t prepared. Some things you couldn’t be taught in the hours of required training. This was just going to be learned the hard way: in the fire, in the trenches, and deep in the emotions of trauma. The fact that I didn’t have that partner in the home, to tag in, was wearing on me. I was feeling defeated, confused, ill-equipped, and to be brutally honest, I was afraid. What if this wasn’t my calling? How could I have been so mistaken in what I felt Heavenly Father calling me to do? And then in January of 2024, when I was ready to give up: on her, on me, and on us, God blessed me in 4 different ways, that I now am completely humbled by. He gave me an incredible case manager, who showed me grace in my mistakes. She showed me that those that are truly called to this journey, get beat up, and it HURTS. But we keep going because these littles need us. But it cannot be done alone. And that case manager was a messenger from God who introduced me to three women in my local community that were in the trenches, too. They understood, EVERY emotion that I had experienced. They had their moments of crying in the shower at the end of the day, wondering did they have enough to give these kids another day.
Those women have been my tribe, my friends, and I recognized almost instantaneously that we were sisters in Christ. Since January, we have still faced the same battles. But instead of being so incredibly weary, we strategize. We vent. We PRAY as warriors, together, for the struggles that each may be battling.
Because we recognize what is taking place in OUR HOMES. These children in foster care are fighting demons that have traumatized them. Their own families who were created to love them, have scarred them in ways that could be insurmountable. And we were called to offer them love, structure, grace, and understanding. We are their advocates in battles with agencies, medical personnel, mental health professionals, and educators. This is hard. But we make each other better. I know that I have become such a better parent for my little girl, because of these women.
God explains to Paul, when he cried out, that HIS grace was sufficient. God will bring us through these circumstances. Not without pain,
necessarily. Because in those moments He can be glorified. And since having these Godly women in my corner, as cheerleaders and as friends, I am again reminded of another verse which has become a beacon that I am not so afraid of pursuing.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked our for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)
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Fostering Faithfully is usually serving 8-12 single foster moms during the year. We love helping these strong ladies to keep saying yes! Your donations make date nights, and other tangible and financial support possible for them and other foster parents.
